Last Thursday, the boys and I were driving home from a church function. We had already eaten dinner and the kids had already had dessert. I was exhausted and had had a pretty frustrating day. Anyone who knows me knows that after a day like this, I need a good dessert. As we are were driving, I realized we had nothing sweet at home and I would not be relaxing with a treat after the kids went to bed. I said to the kids, "I know you guys had dessert but would you mind if I stopped and got something for me to have later?" I knew that at the end of a long day, this would be met with groans; sure enough, they voiced their opinions. Milo and Luca started talking about how it wouldn't be fair if only I got one, and that they would miss a few minutes of TV time. I didn't want to stop if it was going to create an angry mob in my car because I just didn't have the energy. After a minute Braydon said, "I think we should stop. We can love you more than ourselves right now." The way he said it, in his soft voice, I knew that this wasn't something he was just repeating, but it was something he was thinking through. Braydon's heart spoke the words. Milo and Luca stopped their complaints, changed their minds, and no one made even a peep about the fact that our trip home took an extra ten minutes.
Since then, I have felt very grateful for these boys and their compassion. It's neat to watch their souls pour out love that is bigger than themselves. It also made me think about my community as a whole. What if we all consciously made choices each day to say "I will love others more than myself." This is no easy task, and it goes against the grain of our beings, but its what true love is really about. And it is a love that has been modeled to us for centuries through the Bible. We know that Jesus loves us in the most ultimate way.
My heart has also been full lately because of the many who have reached out to me to offer very helpful words. In the past week, three women who have had struggles with infertility have reached out to share what has helped them. I have been so grateful that they are choosing to love and share, even if the content is painful to talk about. Please know that I am not saying I understand the grief of infertility and that waiting to adopt is the same, but others have pointed out that there are similarities and they have graciously offered me their thoughts and experiences.
"God does have a plan, and as rough of a road it can be, the end result will have you looking back at all those twists and turns, ups and downs with a smile, because they brought you to where you are."