These stories are amusing, but I think the long term affect of this mentality is dangerous for us. Sadly, I see it in myself sometimes: I don't always see my shortcomings or mistakes as quickly as I should. I don't always serve with a giving heart or without judgement. As a mom, where picking up after others and running on no sleep is the norm, the frustration or flaw of another can seem glaring. Seeing this in small children is only evidence that this is innate and certainly not one of our best qualities. Even in adoption, people find there are many ways to judge or hold anger, but honestly, it does us no good. It does the child no good either; it does not demonstrate what forgiveness and overflowing love looks like. These are things we have been given and need to quickly and earnestly pass on.
Here are two ways I have found to combat this emotional downfall. First, I view the work I do in my home or for my family and friends as a gift. Organization is an ability I have and can accomplish easily. So as I pick up my family's dirty clothes or old lunch I think of how I can do this out of love and as a gift to them. If for some reason I couldn't serve my family, I would be devastated, so even if it is redundant, it is a privilege. The things that make us resentful often extend out of the home, but the same principles apply - give it as a gift. Second, I pray often. If another child is consistently mean to one of my sons, if someone makes a rude comment to me in the grocery store about my parenting abilities (or lack-therof), if a family member hurts my feelings, I pray for them. Praying focuses me on the bigger picture. It focuses my heart onto God.
Not focusing on the flaws of others in certainly a quality our kids can learn as well, and they will mimic it if they see it in Josiah and me. There have been times I have seen one of my kids tease someone for one reason or another. They see a flaw, a weakness, or something unusual. But after talking these circumstances through, they ready themselves for the next chance to love. On one particular occasion, Milo said to me, "Mom someone puked in the nursery! He was so sad, so I prayed for him right then!" This reaction is a growing process, one each of us can claim as our own. And I promise as this love overflows and goodness is shared, God will press more on our hearts and change lives for the better.