A few weeks back, Josiah and I actually had a visit with Autumn and her birthmother. We are contracted to have four a year. We decided to have one in August because it was near her birthmother's birthday. We have no intention of cutting her off from contact, so we send pictures and emails routinely, and we initiated the visit. Many ask if this is going to be confusing for Autumn or if we have any fears. We really don't have any reservations at this point. The reality of this world is that sometimes family dynamics don't fit the norm. Autumn will always have two moms and that isn't something to fear. Its a fact and its her story. Her "belly mama" will always remain just that. The many other aspects of "mom" will be filled by me, and I already know that on a twelve week old level, Autumn is cognizant of that. In a lot of ways, we think it would be selfish of us to break ties with her biological family just because we are scared. It may be helpful to her for many reasons, and we don't want her to feel we have hid any part of her life from her.
The meeting went well, and I am sure they will get easier as we progress. Her birthmother is so kind, she brought her a "little sister" onsie and was so excited to hold her and take pictures with her. She seemed a little sad that she had missed Autumn so much, but appeared to be comforted that Autumn seemed ok without her. I wondered how that would make her feel (and I worried about it a bit). The next day I got an email from her that instantly brought me peace. She said, " God gave me many struggles in life. Then he gave me her. I had many choices to pick families. But God heard your prayers. And he heard my plea. And he guided me. He chose this. He knew i was the person. Thank you sooooo much.You guys were the best for our child." These words felt so powerful, and I really am so thankful for her confidence in us and in her choice. This young girl, even in her own struggle, has been given such clarity. We do ask you to continue to pray for her. Like so many things in life, adoption isn't easy even when its the best choice. She has so much love for Autumn.
Recently. I was looking at my prayer journal. I actually hadn't written in it since June 14th, six days before Autumn's birth. I was struck by what I asked God to do in Autumn's little life.
Hopefully it won't take me as long next time to share the miracles we see around us. Thank you for staying up to date with our growing family, for loving Autumn, and holding us up in prayer.
They had many sweet moments together.