When I found Bethany's website, my first concern melted away. I got a completely different vibe. They had a clear emphasis on character and love. So I made an appointment for us to meet them in person.
Bethany presented their information and explained how their process works. We learned quickly that they work regionally, so our adoption could be done locally. This was great news for us. We are adopting from a state within driving distance and travel will not be an obstacle. Secondly, the needs of children are so clearly at the forefront of this organization. They work mostly with pregnant teenagers. They offer these girls counseling, financial help, and medical help. They also work with hospitals and doctors, so that in a crisis situation they have the ability to immediately step in. If a mother is planning to leave the hospital right after birth (without the baby) for one reason or another (her choice, or the Department of Children and Families) she is afforded the option to allow Bethany to find a family. This way, a child who would quickly find themselves in the foster care system would instead be adopted immediately and placed with a family from Bethany. We thought this was incredible. Providing a home for the baby directly from the hospital could allow increased stability and consistency with their family that might be lost if the child had to transition through the foster care system.
Jo and I weren't able to talk during the meeting so when we left I was a little curious what was going on in his head. It was a lot to process. When we got into the car I said, "So... what did you think?" I knew I was excited but I didn't know if that feeling would be matched or deflated. Jo smirked like he always does when he is up to something and said, "That whole time I kept thinking, we can do this, I'm ready, let's have another baby." We had a clear peace and joy in all that we had heard.
The next few days, with preliminary applications and social worker placement, felt very much like just having taken a pregnancy test that came back positive. The excited butterflies enveloped me, but they were matched by the reality that kept running through my mind: "this will take a while, don't get too excited yet". Bethany was already feeling like the perfect fit.
I know these all seem like baby steps. The main difference Jo and I have felt between pregnancy and adoption is that in pregnancy you get pregnant and quite suddenly you are 100% on track for a child. In adoption it's more like a form gets signed, a reference gets called, an application is accepted. All small pieces to a big puzzle that we cannot wait to see. A good friend told me to read an article today that perfectly motivated me for the baby steps ahead (thanks Cheryl). It's main point was that, sometimes the best training for the really big things is just the everyday things. The baby steps prepare and teach us, and we know that God is helping us get where we need to be.