Titus Josiah entered the world today! He was born at 5:40 on August 1st. He is 5 pounds and 11 ounces. Josiah and I do not know much more about him than that. Due to HIPPA laws, nurses and social workers are not yet allowed to share much information. We did get to be with him for a short while today. He slept most of the time, but being held and hearing our voices seemed to make him happy. He is a beautiful boy with a full head of hair! We hope to learn more about him tomorrow. Please pray for him as he is being taken care of by nurses. We know that God will give him peace that passes all understanding during these transitions. Titus is a miracle and God is blessing him. We will also have a chance tomorrow to talk to his birthmother. She is feeling really confident in her choice and says, "I feel like this is my way of loving him." Such a courageous thing to say. Such a brave decision to make. We have all the love in the world for her and we know that we will pray for her from this day forth.
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Two weeks from today is little boy's due date! All of our baby gear has been cleaning and prepared, and we had our annual home study update yesterday. Many of you have asked how to help or how to pray. THANK YOU for your consistency and love throughout this process! I sent Josiah's aunt a little bullet point prayer list last night that I thought really covered the important things, so I thought I would share it with everyone...
1. Pray that we can find a place to stay in R.I. This is not something we can plan out because there are so many variables (when he is actually born, how long he stays in the hospital, how long it takes for R.I. to allow us to come home, etc). 2. Pray that the baby will be healthy at birth. 3. Pray that his time in the hospital will go well. Apparently this hospital is not "adoption friendly", so I am a little nervous that I won't get very much time with him. 4. Pray that Josiah and I will be financially wise in the next few weeks as we try to prepare. 5. Pray for our family to stay focused on God's plan and bonded together, especially through the transitions. We don't usually transition well, and we also don't like being in situations with a lot of unknowns. But we are charging forward, excited for what God has in store for us. One thing Josiah and I talked about last night that has encouraged us is the reality that this baby, even though we have only known about him for a few weeks, has been prayed about for two years. Ever since we started this process in 2013, we (any many of you) have prayed for the child we adopt. So even before his conception, he was being lifted up in prayer. We whole-heartedly believe that God has been with him each day of his pregnancy. We have chosen to give him the name Titus. Titus was a man in the Bible trained by Paul to be a young man of faith who helped others find Christ. Secondly, the name "Titus" in Latin means "saved". To us, this is a great reminder of how God brought him from a rough beginning to a more stable life. This is also exactly what God does for each of us if we let Him. If this adoption becomes final, Titus will always be a great reminder of what God does to save and rescue His children. First of all, we just want to say thank you to all of our friends and family who have prayed for us over the past three days. It has been very busy, and we have had some quick decisions to make. Late Monday night, we became aware of a birthmother who wanted to meet us. We knew very little except that she was pretty confident in her decision to put her baby up for adoption and very urgently wanted to meet us. That night, I had several dreams about a little boy wearing Luca's hand-me-downs, so when I woke up, I had an inkling that it was a boy. Tuesday morning, the social worker confirmed that it is a boy and she gave me a little backstory on the baby. Many of you, out of care, have asked if I am ok with a fourth boy (and not a daughter), and the answer is YES! On Tuesday, after I heard the boy's story, I hung up the phone and cried. I cried because it's always a lot of information to receive all at once, and so much of the story is filled with heartache. While I was crying, I said to God, "If any of this sadness is me grieving that its a boy, please let this be the only time I have that feeling and replace those thoughts with your feelings". And honestly, I haven't thought twice about the gender since that moment. A little baby boy needs a family and we can provide that help.
We coordinated to meet on Thursday. Josiah and I made the trip to Rhode Island where the birthmother lives. Adoptions always take place in the state of the birthmother. We talked for an hour, learned about each other, and spoke about the future for this baby. The mother was incredibly nice, kindhearted, and gentle. She is young, has had some struggles, and is trying to move away from a period of instability. She shared her heart for her son, particularly her desire for him to have security and stability. She expressed her hope that we would bond quickly with him, and she was excited to hear our ideas about names and our thoughts on our changing family dynamic. There were a lot of beautiful moments in that conversation that I will cherish forever. As uncomfortable and nerve wracking as these meetings can be, they are also very powerful and amazing. The baby boy is due on August 11th. He is Italian and French Canadian. All of the ultrasounds show him to be healthy, but he may have a hard first few days. Please pray for him in the next few weeks as he grows. These prayers would mean the world to us. On the way home we prayed, asking Christ to show us if we were following His plan for our family. Josiah made the point that we may be overthinking it. If there is a mother that is asking us to raise her son, how can we say no? Sometimes after you pray, you just need to take a leap of faith, trusting that if God doesn't want this adoption to go through, He won't allow it. We can trust Him to be in control when our decisions are big and heavy. As always, there is the chance that the mother will change her mind. The social worker indicated that the birthmother has always seems really confident in her decision to put her son up for adoption, and the meeting yesterday added a peacefulness to her confidence. That being said, nothing is set in stone until the baby is 15-25 days old and Rhode Island and Massachusetts agree that he is ours. The birthmother can change her mind from now until that happens. I hope this is a good update for all who have sent text messages, called, or asked about our meeting! We also hope this gives you another peek into the adoption process. All parts of it are amazing and unique. God willing, we will have more updates for you soon. Please pray for continued wisdom and clarity as we navigate these very brand-new situations, health for the birthmother and her son, and for our family as we prepare for what is ahead. Know that your prayers are felt by all of us and that we have felt so supported and loved through this entire process. Even though we do not have a baby yet, adoption has still been a very busy part of our lives. Many of you have heard about the baby girl, Haven, that we were hoping to adopt. Haven was born about ten days ago and her mother is beyond thrilled. She is parenting and loving her with her whole heart. Once the birth mother moved to Florida, we stayed in touch with her through the social worker. She often would ask about us or us about her, and I had the opportunity to send her a letter. Even though we knew her intentions had shifted from adoption to parenting, we still felt God had so clearly crossed our paths. I've come to realize that even though adoption is our goal, there may be other "tasks" along the way that God wants us to pursue. In the past few months, we have seen that play out in encouraging birth mothers. Hearing about her birth was a joy and a sorrow. It is beyond wonderful to see the happy, healthy pictures that she sent us. It is also awesome to hear how encouraged and motivated she is. On the other hand, I can feel the closing of the door, and I know we are yet again moving on to something else.
Out of the goodness of her heart, the birthmother wrote us a letter when Haven was born. These words are a gift, because it reminds me that this was not wasted time, but that God used us in her life. She talked about the security she had knowing that if she couldn't do it that Haven would be ok. She talked about the many answered prayers in her life and the new perspective we gave her. She ended it with, "I want you to know that my thoughts are with you, and Haven and I have felt your prayers". How can we argue with this? How can we argue with God's plan when the more important factor here is that a mother was held up in a time of need and she felt the work of effectual prayer. A few months ago I posted a blog with Psalm 46:10 as the title... "Be still and know that I am God". This past week the sermon at my church was on Psalm 46. When the speaker spoke about verse ten, he said that the actual translation of "be still' is "let go of your grip". Honestly, I don't do well at being still. I don't even do well at going slow. And now I have the job of being still WITH my hands open to whatever comes. I can't hold onto Haven tightly, because it wasn't God's plan, but with openness we strive to let His will be done. There will be more adoption news to share, of this I am absolutely sure. We just wait for God's next task. I have to admit this isn't an easy post to write. But, in a effort to keep our adoption process wide open, I am going to share anyway. Adoption can be mentally exhausting and in these past few weeks, I have certainly felt those feelings.
Our meeting with the birth mother a few weeks ago went great. We both found her easy to talk to, and the love she has for her baby was so clearly evident. She asked us tons of questions, and we got to share a lot about ourselves and our family. She shared about herself as well. Our hearts went out to her as she shared her story, and we both felt eager to help her in any way that we could. Later that day, her social worker shared with us that she felt it went well too. She also said that it is common not to hear from the birth mother for a few days as she processes all that is happening. We went to DC a few days later, and I was so grateful to be on a little vacation to kind of reset. The birth mother needing a few days to process made complete sense to me, especially after I did it myself. A few weeks later, her social worker called to say that she had spoken to the birth mother. We found out that she had moved to another state, and that although she likes us a lot she really wants to give parenting a shot. We were a surprised that she left so suddenly, but we also know we can't fathom what her emotional process feels like. The social worker took our file off of hold so that other mothers can seek our family. Even though we got this information a little over a week ago, she has still been constantly on my heart and mind. As I pray for her, I often hope that our meeting served a purpose in her life and that it was helpful in some way. I will admit that Josiah and I were both disappointed. I was more disappointed than I had been in the other two situations that were brought to our attention. This just felt so possible and close. It made us realize how badly we want to adopt, and we can certainly feel our patience running thin. I am a "second half" person. I always have a better perspective in the second half of my runs. The last portion of Josiah's shifts always seems a little easier than the first. I have a better attitude in March (as opposed to January and February). It motivates me to know I am over half done. So the idea of seeing the finish line in our adoption was really great. Having that finish line vanish was one of the more challenging parts of this process for us. We also learned from the social workers that one of the reasons it has been taking a while is because people are uncomfortable giving their child to a family where the father is a police officer. We know that police aren't always seen in the best light, but we still found this surprising. The social workers talked about taking that information out of our book, but we decided to leave it. We are honored that Josiah gets to work in this field and it is a part of who we are. It would be dishonest not to include something that is so important to us. The kids and I have been listening to a song we call, "Haven's Song". Haven is the baby's name. It has a lot of great lyrics, but some that have been particularly helpful to me are... "What we give is what we have. How we love is what will last, and this hope we know will carry us through." I am reminded that even through the disappointment, we have hope, hope that God has brought us here, and that he is using it all. It focuses me on the fact that whatever we gave this birth mother was important. Even if it was small, it will last in her heart. We may hear from her again; we may not. But we know regardless, our time together was important. We will continue to faithfully walk in this adoption path and we look forward to the day we can introduce baby #4 to all of you. "We plan the way we want to live But only God makes us able to live it." (Proverbs 16:9 The Message) Over the past few weeks, I have found myself thinking of this verse, and in it, I have found great peace. Braydon wrote it out in school, and as I pulled it out of his bag, it held greater meaning for our current circumstances than it had in days past. I've thought a lot about how adoption all started with a desire in our hearts. We have the desire to love and raise a baby that isn't biologically ours. It's a desire to do something to which we have felt called, even if it felt challenging. That was our plan. It still is our plan. But we are not the ones who bring the plan into place. That's God's work. There have been so many steps in adoption that have literally felt like miracles. It is not an easy process, and each child needs a series of miracles to get them to a home. That is why I felt led to write a blog today.
The birth mother who showed interest in us is still thinking of us. After looking around at the available families, she came back to our file because she says she already feels a connection to us and she doesn't know why. We are going to meet her next week. For the past two weeks, we have been praying and praying. I am trying to maintain (what they call in the adoption world) "reserved excitement". Let me tell you, as far as adoption goes, this is a hard part. We started this process over fifteen months ago, and I am so excited to have another baby. Because of this, my patience isn't always where it should be. Even so, Josiah and I both so clearly see God walking us through this. Even if this isn't the right match, we know we are in the right spot. I'll find myself feeling an urgent need to pray for the situation and later learn that a meeting took place during that time. Josiah and I picked the same gift to bring to the birthmother without even discussing it. We feel unified, we feel led, and we feel ready. We ask that you pray for us. Pray for this meeting and for a relationship to form. Pray for trust and love on all sides. Also pray for clarity and wisdom for the birthmother. I am sure this is no easy task for her. Pray that we are able to articulate how we love and protect our children and pray that beyond explanation it is felt. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this. Thank you for praying. Thank you for supporting us. We often find great comfort in knowing that we have such a great circle of friends and family who hold us up. We've had a long winter, and I know many of you have as well. I have always said that parenting is the hardest in the winter. In the past three weeks alone, we have had strep throat, croup, the stomach bug, bad colds, and lingering fevers. Some days can be downright discouraging. During February vacation, I didn't have the best attitude. Being in the house for an extended period of time has never been easy for me. I have been reading the book, "Mom Enough" and finding it motivating to reflect on what motherhood is. It's not a hobby or something just for the fun days, but a calling filled with hard parts as well. During these hard days, keeping the goals we have for our children in mind is important. One particular quote has been very inspiring for me: "Look at your children in faith and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the young faces around your table now? God loves little offerings." - Rachel Jankovic I like this quote because it reminds me that these winter days are not forever. We will not be trapped inside with illness, below zero temperatures, and piles of snow for the rest of our lives. They will also not struggle with tantrums, sibling arguments, and bad attitudes each and every day. They will soon be adults. They will have their own families, friends, and people to influence. So I will continue to purposefully parent with encouragement and love. We have tried to make the best of it together and some days we just have to laugh at all the mayhem! We were encouraged to hear Friday that there is a birth mother who likes us. She is due in April and had a few questions that we answered through the social worker. This coming week we will hear more and if she wants to meet us. Things didn't go as far as we had hoped with the last baby girl so it was encouraging to have someone else approach us. I have been guarding my excitement and praying a lot. This may not be our child either, but I love the chance to pray for a baby, an expectant mom, and all others involved. I don't want to be "the girl that cried baby" on this blog, but I really want to give a realistic view of the adoption process. It has its highs and lows and since January 1st we have had three babies come to our attention. We may have to pray about 50 before we actually adopt, but thats part of it. God knows what He's doing. SIDE NOTE: Happy 5th Birthday to Milo! I can't believe he will be FIVE this Wednesday! (These pictures are from his party).
First of all, just wanted to say THANK YOU to all those who reached out to us last week. The calls, texts, Facebook messages, and prayers were all so encouraging. Sometimes adoption feels very daunting, but we truly felt supported. Those who offered us wisdom and love probably don't realize how much I hold onto each word. Sometimes a simple sentence carries me for a whole day.
Wednesday was not as eventful as we would have liked. Some events were postponed and some goals set. Hope is certainly not lost for baby girl, especially since she is being prayed for constantly. I know that my timing is not perfect, nor does it contain all the details of the situation, so we are trusting God and his timing. This past week we had illness (it was actually our second sick week in a row), so we spent a lot of time indoors with little sleep. I have to admit I was discouraged from the long week and the lack of progress. We have anticipated that this would be difficult but often the hardest things are the things most worth doing. Jo and I have in our hearts the desire to help a child, but we certainly don't believe that it comes without opposition. Just as we teach our kids to do the right thing boldly and without loosing hope, we need to do the same thing as well. Many days that inspiration comes from others but it also comes from God. I recently read Psalm 68 and was so encouraged by the verse that says, "God sets the lonely in families". I have used this verse to pray for baby girl many times. He knows how to care for her best. Another encouragement came this week through friends of ours. They have been seeking to adopt through the state for about the same amount of time as we have been working to adopt. This past week they went from having no prospects to having a two year old boy ready for their home. He moves in Monday. The process went so seamlessly that even the social workers have been surprised. When you hear their story and how it all came to be the miracles are truly so evident. I am so happy for them and also for the love this little boy is about to encounter. A lonely heart has found a family. Please continue to pray for baby girl and all those around her! In advance, I am going to apologize for being vague. I honestly can't share too much about this, but I wanted to pass on an important prayer request. We could certainly use the support this week.
About two weeks ago, we became aware of a three week old baby girl who may be in need. Her story instantly brought me to tears, most likely because the connection hit closer to home as we know a few of her family members. After praying and discussing the situation together, talking to our social worker, and seeking wisdom from some family members, we decided to do all that we could do (sorry, that's as specific as I can get) and pray boldly for this baby. Those close to us were quick to point out the miraculous way this baby's existence came to light. It has been easy to see that God is already working on this baby's behalf. Please pray for this baby, now five weeks old, especially this coming Wednesday. Wednesday is an important day in her little life and we ask you to pray with us that God will bring her to safety. The vulnerability that adoption brings has been very evident to me in these past two weeks. The connection to a baby in need is so hard to prevent. Someone recently reminded me that this emotional process is not in vain. Regardless of the outcome, this baby girl needs prayers, and be assured, none of them will be wasted. God hears and uses each one. And they are enough to move mountains. Thank you in advance for your help; we are so grateful for those who love us. It has been so long since I have posted! The hectic fall and Christmas season certainly distracted me from my little blog. For a few days though, I have been thinking that sending out an update would be a good thing. About a month ago, a few friends of ours (who have been praying for us consistently) encouraged us to speak with our social worker. We also had some anonymous money given to us to put toward the adoption process. I have to say, these bits of motivation from others are so wonderful! This was especially true as we just entered our 15th month in the adoption process. Some days when I am discouraged, a friend or family member fills that void in a God-given way... so thank you to everyone who helps us and keeps up to date. It truly is a gift. When I did contact our social worker, she said that our information has been viewed a few times. She said that it hasn't been the right fit or right timing yet, but we can be encouraged to know that it is getting out there. The New England states have our family book and information, so it could have been seen in any of those places. We also extended our information, through the Bethany website, to all of the U.S. We know that not every location would be easy for us to get to, but we want to faithfully consider what comes before us. Last week our social worker asked us if we would consider a baby boy due in March. This baby has some disabilities, but we were not told how extensive. We took a day to pray, together and separate, and really think it over. Ironically it was the same day my sister-in-law, Hilary, had her ultrasound. Josiah, the boys and I were able to go to her appointment. I was feeling the baby itch for sure. As the day came to a close, Josiah and I talked again about this baby. Both of us felt that this really wasn't our child. Even though we really want to expand our family soon, we felt our answer was to wait. We told our social worker and she completely understood but thanked us for a sincere consideration. We could have asked for more information on the boy's condition, we talked to our pediatrician a little bit, but we didn't want to get too involved and then say no later. The whole day reminded me that this really has to be an endeavor that is lead by Christ. Both Josiah and I trust that we will know when the right situation is in front of us and that God will be navigating our family through the process. Hopefully that day is soon, but for now we will wait with our three beautiful sons. I recently read a quote that really helped me grasp this waiting in a new light: "What God does in us while we wait is as important as what it is we're waiting for." This has really reminded me that each day we are being prepared for whatever is to come. These boys eagerly await their new sibling as well!
(Picture from my cousin Becki's wedding this past weekend) |
AuthorJo and I met when we were 15 and we have been married for 9 years. We have three boys, Braydon, Milo, and Luca. Archives
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"Do you want to do something beautiful for God? There is a person who needs you. This is your chance." -Mother Teresa
The first time I saw you was like a dream come true. No I didn't give you the gift of life, life gave me the gift of you. (Author unknown)
Join along as we follow God's leading into adoption. We hope to adopt in 2014 or 2015 and we are happy to share this journey with you. We already love this baby and pray for him or her daily…