"Thought my weary steps may falter and my soul athirst may be gushing from the rock before me lo, a spring of joy I see."
On Friday, we got an email that there is a girl in MA that they wanted to talk to us about before they shared our information with her. The social worker said she may have to seek outside of MA to find a match, but that she has thought of us often and thinks we could be an awesome fit. This girl would like an open adoption, the child is already named, and her circumstances are pretty rare. She wanted to make sure we were on board with these things before sharing about us. Before making any choices, Josiah and I prayed together and then we prayed as a family. As we began to pray, one of our boys said, "Why are we praying? The baby always goes to another family anyway?" This comment stung a little not only because I saw the struggle going on in my child's heart, but also because it was a clear reflection of me as well. We talked as a family about how there are examples in life and in the Bible of people who have to struggle to get to their end goal. We talked about how there is growth in that time and it is used for some purpose. Job says, "But He knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold." (Job 23:10). As we had this conversation I knew it was just as much for me as it was for the kids.
That being said, I was hesitant to share, because I am nervous to get excited about possibilities and then become disappointed in the following weeks and months. It has hit me though, that this is a selfish reason to keep information to myself. With adoption, the risk of being hurt or disappointed is always there, and you have to take that on. This girl that is struggling with choices and overwhelming circumstances needs help. She does not have family of her own. Something that I can offer her is an army of people that will pray for her and, in that way, extend love to her. If I don't share, essentially I am keeping the army of family and friends that I have to myself. I'm protecting myself and closing off. Instead, I want to choose to share this information so that each reader can join me in prayer for this lonely girl. And that is why I share this story today. There is a girl, in Massachusetts, who needs our prayers and our love, even if its just for the next few weeks. She is due in April and she has hard decisions to make. Please pray for peace, for wisdom, for clarity, for those around her to love her unconditionally, and for God to touch her heart in a new and exciting way. Even though there is risk involved in this part of the journey, there is much to be given when someone is in need.
Thank you for being our family, our friends, our prayer warriors, and our helpers. We could not do this process without each of you.