As someone who passionately cares about marriage, I pray that whatever hardship you are facing, you remember these hardships will reap a reward, a closeness, and a joy. Fight for your marriage, pour your heart into it each day, and the outcome will be greater than whatever "happily ever after" you imagine.
As far as fears go, this may be an odd one, but at the beginning of the summer, my kids were afraid of weddings. They didn't care for the attention, the noise, and all the people were intimidating. They were always unsure and apprehensive about what was going to happen next. Josiah and I kept telling them, "If you just get through walking down that aisle, taking pictures, listening in church, and eating politely at a fancy table, THEN you can dance, be crazy, and have awesome desserts!" Well it just so happens we had a lot of practice at overcoming our fear this summer. Two weeks ago, we had Hilary's wedding, Jo's older sister. This is the third wedding of the summer... and we have one more in January! Each wedding got easier on the kids. They knew what to expect and could breath a little easier. Luca was so comfortable by Hilary's wedding that he got up during church, walked to the front and came right up to me (where the bridesmaids were standing) and said, "Uh mom, we are out of tic tac's." Surprisingly to him, this is not a good reason to pause a wedding ceremony. They know so many wedding details now. One of them turned to me at Hilary's rehearsal and said, "Did someone bring the bouquet made of bows?" This strikes me as something not all men know about, never mind all children! Besides the silly things they picked up, Hilary's wedding was the first wedding that the boys made it through to the dancing. And finally they got to see what Jo and I were talking about and let loose a little. Through their practice and determination they found the fun. It was a great moment for all of us. As a gift for Hilary and Jack, family and friends put together a scrapbook. Each page had pictures (of Hilary and Jack or of them with family) and a page written by each of us. People shared date night recommendations, predictions about their family, marriage advice, and memories and qualities about Hilary and Jack. I had the joy of putting the pages together once they were completed. One friend wrote something that stuck out to me, "I have experienced much in marriage, long term illness, financial distress and the like, but what I have found is that greater joy and happiness comes after these things, once you have lived through it together." What a wise statement. Husband and wife grow together, cling to each other, and provide support for each other in the hard times, and afterwards the joy of the increased faith, love, and care is almost palpable. Oddly enough, my kids modeled this principle in their wedding fears. Sometimes we have to survive through the uncomfortable and scary to get to our dance party.
As someone who passionately cares about marriage, I pray that whatever hardship you are facing, you remember these hardships will reap a reward, a closeness, and a joy. Fight for your marriage, pour your heart into it each day, and the outcome will be greater than whatever "happily ever after" you imagine.
2 Comments
Gretchen Adams
9/2/2014 03:49:19 am
Madison your outlook on life, marriage, and happiness makes me strive to be a better me. I miss many important and some truly enjoyable things in life due to the fear. This has encouraged me to embrace the fear. Maybe I will find the Dance party and who knows maybe ill dance through life a little easier .
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Madison
9/2/2014 04:42:08 am
Gretchen, I feel so privileged to be able to share my thoughts and its awesome to know that they make a difference. Your dedication and love for Mason is so evident and incredible... you are an encouragement as well.
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AuthorJo and I met when we were 15 and we have been married for 9 years. We have three boys, Braydon, Milo, and Luca. Archives
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